your room smells of hookers.
And success
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize