I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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