the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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