Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
id be glad to
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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