id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
