He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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