Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
