i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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