So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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