Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
