as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
