Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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