Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
