i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
