1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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