Apparently you make a good broom.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I need moral support for this bender
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
false alarm, still single
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
