my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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