Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
