Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
