She's JV to your varsity
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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