just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
