I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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