just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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