I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
