you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Randomize
