It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize