Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
