If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
