I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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