I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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