even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
