hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
