Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
