exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
