Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
