I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
