Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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