And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
