im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
This toilet bowl is my home.
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