bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
