i don't like sucking hair
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
