Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
