We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
