I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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