Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
