i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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