you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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