i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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