spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
