Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
