apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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