well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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