He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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