Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
