I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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