we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
My liver just had a heart attack.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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