so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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