Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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